Has your family given you a reason to doubt their love for you? Do you always feel like they don’t enough about you? Before you confront them with any allegations of acting indifferent toward you, you need to be certain that they don’t care about you. That’s why this article offers you 7 big signs your family doesn’t care about you.
7 Signs Your Family Doesn’t Care About You
Family is a very important part of society as it plays a critical role in social development. It bears the primary function of educating and socializing children, as well as instilling societal values and a sense of belonging in society. Therefore, it’s harrowing and risky to have a family that doesn’t care about you.
When a family abdicates its role of nurturing and taking care of its members, future generations are at great risk of discarding the tenets that hold societies as we know them. Individually, you’re likely to suffer mental anguish when you lose your family’s care and love. If you suspect that your family doesn’t care about you, here are the main signs to look out for.
1. Ignoring Your Boundaries
For any relationship to thrive, the involved parties must set and respect each other’s boundaries. These are limits established by people in a relationship to keep the relationship healthy and workable. They serve as borders, indicators, or stop signs that show the other person in a relationship how far the line they’re not allowed to cross when interacting with you.
These boundaries are very important in a family setting because they help to keep everyone respectful. Unfortunately, some family members who don’t care about you will have a hard time respecting your boundaries. This should help you know who in your family cares about you and who doesn’t.
A perfect example of disrespect in a family is family members who continue to show up at your house unannounced, even after asking them to for the umpteenth time. If you ask them to inform you beforehand and they continue showing up unannounced, it shows that they don’t care about your feelings and privacy. People who love you will never do anything that will hurt your feelings.
2. Invalidating Your Feelings While Prioritizing Theirs
Relationships grow where each partner minds how the other one feels. So, if your family members never show any genuine concern about how you feel, they don’t care about you. For instance, if your brother, sister, cousin, or parent calls you several times a day to let you know they’re in distress so you can comfort them, but hang up before asking you how you feel, it means that they believe your feelings are insignificant.
Sometimes you’ll open up to your family about your feelings only to be greeted with ridicule, disbelief, or total silence. Sadly, this can leave you feeling destitute and neglected.
3. Your Needs Are Never Met
A family that doesn’t care about you is always dismissive, belittling, or distant. They’ll always depend on you to meet their needs while they dismiss and belittle yours. If your family doesn’t show any effort to fulfill your needs, it means that you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
In such a situation, the best thing to do is to take some time away from your family. You can even use that emotional energy to build another family that respects and shows up for you. Your family should provide consistent care for you and try as much as possible to meet your needs.
4. Leaving You Out
While it’s normal for family members to want some personal space, it’s a different thing altogether when they leave you out of all family events or deliberately refuse to inform you about essential milestones in the family. For instance, a family that doesn’t care about you won’t tell you about upcoming birthdays or visits.
These are important signs to let you know where you stand in your family. When this happens, you should let your family know how you feel about being sidelined. If they care about you, they’ll change.
5. Trust Your Gut Feeling
If you always feel like your family doesn’t care enough about you, there’s a possibility that they don’t. So, you should always trust your gut feeling. But before you confront your family members about it, you should take your time to analyze your feelings and the reasons why you feel that way.
You need to understand that people communicate in different ways, some of which may come off as uncaring. Also, bear in mind the fact that your family members are like friends – some will be more forthright with their feelings toward you than others.
6. Always Canceling Plans
Although it’s normal for someone to cancel their plans when something more pressing comes up, you should be wary of family members who always cancel plans and appointments with you at the last minute. It could mean that they don’t care about you. It’s permissible for them to cancel appointments occasionally due to unavoidable emergencies, but if it’s a regular trend, then you have every reason to be mad.
7. They Have No Time For You
Time is the most precious commodity in the world because once it’s gone, you can’t get it back. Therefore, you can know how much people care about you by the amount of time they’re willing to give you. If your family fails repeatedly to make time for you, it means they don’t care about you.
What Might Make Your Family Dislike You?
Your family should be your sanctuary when everyone and everything else turns against you. That’s why you should prioritize your relationship with your family members. Unfortunately, not every family stays together, supporting and caring for one another. You can be disliked and disregarded by your own family.
It can be confusing and disheartening to realize that your family doesn’t care about you. You’ll be left with a lot of unanswered questions about why your family dislikes you and how to deal with it. If you’re in this predicament, here are some of the common reasons why your family may dislike and disregard you.
1. Dysfunctional Family
The first concern that comes to your mind when you learn that your family doesn’t care about you is: What did I do? But the truth is that in most cases, you’re not the cause of the problem. In most cases, your family will disregard you because they’re not naturally loving and caring people.
Dealing with a dysfunctional family can be stressful because you’ll always feel like you’re not getting adequate devotion from your parents and siblings. If possible, you should let your family know how you feel about their behavior. If they’re not willing to change, you should take some time away from them to figure out the next cause of action.
2. Unusual Situation
We all have our unique ways of dealing with unusual happenings. Therefore, sometimes your family members may appear indifferent when they’re dealing with an unusual situation. In this case, their uncaring behavior toward you is motivated by something else other than hatred or dislike. So, you should take time to analyze the current situation in your family to know what could have caused them to dislike you.
3. Personality Clash
Sometimes your family members may appear uncaring because your personalities clash. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your family hates you. This kind of indifference stems from the fact that you don’t see eye to eye with your family members on some issues. In this case, you should learn to look at things from someone else’s perspective.
4. Toxic Family
Sometimes your family may dislike you because they’re naturally toxic. A toxic family will always hate you, criticize you, belittle your feelings, and even make threats. In other instances, they’ll claim to be the victims. This is a perfect sign of a toxic family and qualifies to be emotional abuse.
How Do You Deal With A Family That Doesn’t Care About You?
Knowing that your family doesn’t care about you is a difficult situation to deal with because these are people who are naturally supposed to take care of you. Therefore, you have a right to feel angry and betrayed. If you ever find yourself in this situation, here are simple ideas to help you cope with it.
1. Don’t Compare Them With Other People
It can be hurting to hear wonderful stories of how your friends are treated nicely by their families when you know your family doesn’t care about you. But before you hate your family for not caring about you like your friends, you need to understand that not everything is as it seems. While some people have genuinely supportive and kind families, others just put on a façade when they’re in public.
You’ll be surprised to learn that your friends go through a lot of ugly things in the hands of their family members behind closed doors. Therefore, you shouldn’t compare your family to others. Understand that every family has its unique challenges.
2. Have Genuine Friends
Family doesn’t necessarily have to be blood-related. You can still enjoy love and care from friends. In fact, some friends can be more loving and caring than your own family members. So, if you don’t get the kind of love and respect you desire from your kin, build a robust network of friends who will genuinely care about you.
3. Cut Ties
It’s normal for a family member to occasionally act distant, especially when they’re dealing with a stressful situation. But when your family members continuously mistreat and disregard you and they’re not willing to change even after talking to them, it’s time to cut ties. You need to know when you no longer have to put up with their disrespectful behavior.
4. Lower Your Expectations
Sometimes we get disappointed in people because we expect a lot from them. Although your family is supposed to love and take care of you, sometimes the opposite happens. Therefore, it’s always good to manage your expectations when dealing with people, including your family members.